21 November 2012

So I figured that those of you who noticed my absence deserved an apology, or at least an explanation. The truth is, I don't really have much of one. There are certain things I've struggled with in my past, and new things that have only just come up, and none of it's easy at all. These past few months have been really hard, and the more I tried to deal with it in my real life, the more I pulled away from my online friends. It's really rare for me to even talk to anyone these days, and as time went on I got very discouraged by the lack of people who seemed to even notice (with the exception of PiB, who always asked how I was doing and whom I appreciated very much during all of this), which is why I unfollowed everyone I cared about and eventually deleted my Tumblr altogether.

There are certain people, or at least a person, to whom my absence really hasn't been fair. It's particularly not fair because I'm a hypocrite, or at least a really bad friend. I don't have any excuses, really, other than the fact that I was probably a bad friend before any of this. I don't think I ever got over the months I spent last winter without my best friend, and when it happened again I was definitely not equipped to go through the same thing. The truth is that I could have been a better friend and tried to understand, but I didn't. I was selfish- I am selfish. When I was diagnosed last month, all I could think about was how much I really missed the people in my life that I would have talked to about it before, and I've been so focused on myself and my problems that I stopped caring about other people's.

All things considered, I don't really expect to be around in your community any longer. I'll really miss it, and the friends I made from being part of it. But I never really felt like I fit in much in the first place, which was really my own fault for not making more of an effort to be visible. At any rate, I'm done writing for a while. I haven't been able to write anything for months; I don't know if it's my depression keeping me from doing anything, or if I genuinely don't have any muse left for the Pesces and the story I created around them. I'd like to say I'll return one day, but I probably won't. I get too sad when I think about everything related to it, and I think I just need to look around for something that makes me feel happy again. I don't know what that is yet, but hopefully I'll know it when I find it.

So, I'm sorry. I wish I could have done things differently, or at least felt differently about everything. Really, when it comes down to it, you deserve better than me.



I just read your post.

I have no idea what it is that your growing through, but everyone has their own cross to bear.

Please don't feel that you are not deserving or that your fan deserve better than you, because that is not the case.

It is okay for you to move away from Sims if it no longer makes your happy, but don't feel that you are being a bad friend or person for that.

There is a season for everything and right now in your life Sims isn't it and that is okay.

I hope that you will return and if not that is okay also.

I personally don't write any sim stories or do anything creative for sims. I'm just a fan and I support those with the creative ability by following them and just enjoying the sims with them.

I don't know anyone that I follow personally nor have I had private conversation other than those sim related.

I have moments when I don't feel connected, but I remember that at the end of the day. I just enjoy their work.

I'll keep following your blog whether you return or not, but know that you have some silent fans out there.

Just know that I love you, and I always will. I may not be as reachable as I used to be, but if there ever comes a time you want or need me, you know how to find me. I would never not be there for you. All you have to do is ask, if that time ever comes.

But if you believe anything I say: you are not a bad friend. You never have been, and you never will be. Everyone goes through a time where they have to put themselves first. That's not selfish. That's loving and respecting yourself. And I'm glad you did what you needed to do to try to take care of yourself. If moving on to something that will bring you more happiness, or away from something that is not, is what you feel is right for you, then I respect you for it. The most important thing in your life is you--and please, do everything you can to take care of that person. She means a great deal to me, and even if I don't see her anymore, part of me would die if anything happened to her.

I'm sorry that you are suffering. I wish I could end it--but my dearest hope is that you are able to, somehow. I want you to be happy. And though I will miss having you around, I hope that moving on will lead you to better things.

I love you, Sara. Please don't ever forget that. ♥

I'm sorry to hear that. Makes me feel a little responsible because I didn't catch up on the rest of your blog when you did come back.

It's hard depending on what is going on in your life though--and maybe how many blogs you following, I follow too many to keep up--to devote time to simming/blogging and to stay motivated to do it.

I do hear where your coming from and it varies for each person as to what they get out of blogging, like writing a sim story or whatever. I've learnt along the way that comments are a bonus--really, really good bonus, lol--but if that's all your writing for then it's best to reassess why your even writing.

As for fitting it, everyone that I've met or interacted with is different. No one simmer/blogger is the same and I love that. But if your not happy or confident within yourself then I guess it might make it difficult to relate/interact with others.

I wish you all the best Amelia and I hope that you find that something that makes you happy again, I really do.

TC. <3

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